The Colours Of Jealousy

Hello,

I like the flow and the poems natural rhythm. The emotional colours sparkle throughout like jewels on a necklace. They don't detract or over emphasize, moreover they belong and compliment and add the necessary anchor.

Your use of alliteration pleases this reader as I enjoy your play with word sounds, like the beginning two words, also, "...lime in your eyes" and, "...the red that you wear" to mention just a few.

The poem has balance: opinion, question, opinion, question and then finally, a wonderful comical, yet cutting imagery that is meant to sting to the bone while the reader imagine a devilish smile walking away.

I enjoyed this - thank you.

Michael

Well Jenni...everything about this poem has been said already so what's left for me to add haha!!! I bet you were glad to get that all off your chest eh? There is sarcasm..anger but, also relief towards the end of it as you finally tell this person exactly what you thing and...there is such a karma feel to your words that you knew all along that this person would get what was coming to them in the end if you were patient enough to see it through....Loved it!!!

Neat idea of having this act of jealousy take on an actual color. You are very open, honest, and forthright in your poems, especially in this one. It makes me think that there is no time for lies, for messing with a person who lets jealousy consume them. Who can't be their own person. I love how you started with the two questions in the beginning. It's direct and shows how little self-control we sometimes have. We just speak or act without thought. Only suggestion is I thoguht the fifth stanza almost ran on... maybe have some punctuation there since technically you're continuing the idea with the first line of "creating".

You have such attitude and spark in your writes! Reading the "Put the mask back in place honey" definitely added to how you are over this person's gimmicks. I immediately thought of a masquerade with that last stanza... that people (society) only sees what we want them to see if we're clever enough to hide our true thoughts/emotions. We choose what "self" to put on.

You gave such great contemplation, especially making me think of a person who isn't satisfied with living one life, who wants many. Love the sarcasm at the end and the part about the "standing ovation", yes!

First stanza: I really like the opening. It gives the reader just enough insight to know what is happening. All this person does is try to twist and manipulate your words to stir drama.The question is a nice touch because it almost has a hint of sarcasm and pity weaved within it.

Second stanza: This person spins so many tales that they truly don't know what is the truth and what is made up. They believe the lies spewing from their own mouth.

Third stanza: I am so glad you separated this question into a stanza of its own. It holds more power that way and has that same sarcasm as the question in the first stanza.

You used green because it is known to be the color of envy. In most cases, I would say it was a little cliche but I don't think it is here due to the way you used it. You make it seem like the color of their sweater instead of their personality, nice metaphor.

Fourth stanza: This person always wears this mask, always playing innocent or playing victim, acting like they do no wrong.

I like the lime because it pairs well with the green above. At first, I thought you may had been literal with the lime..talking about lime colored eyeshadow! Lol but after digging deeper, I think you mean that this persons envy is so strong you can see it in their eyes. Nice metaphor!!!

I love the addition of the red clashing with the green. That this person wants to be loved so badly but the jealousy she has keeps any chances at bay. I also sense the red to be anger for the same reason...they may be angry because you have everything they want?

Fifth stanza: The clashing emotions will make a person go kinda crazy. You really described that well here!

"co-ordination" doesn't need the hyphen.

The trend of the colors being their apparal is really great. I love the use of black as the scarf. The black signifying depression and possibly even suicide with it wrapped around their neck like a noose. I may be reading too deep into that, though.

Sixth stanza: Once again, I love the sarcastic tone. Adding the "honey" really helped with that. I can just see that being said before a brawl forms lol.

This person has different faces for different emotions..probably even different faces depending on who they are around. They put on a performance constantly because deep down, they aren't happy with themselves, with who they are...so they try to being others down to their low level.

Ending: I like the twist at the end. People are noticing that the facade this person has put on is all a ruse. Her true colors are peeking behind her mask until one day it just shatters for the world to see.

The carnival mirror was a great touch! Lovely ending to a wonderful piece about the colors of jealousy.

My only little nitpick critique would be the punctuation. In some parts you have it and in others not, so maybe take another read and put some in? Other than that, perfect...very enjoyable, thought provoking read!

I think sometimes we all feel this way. We all spiral out of control so to speak. I liked the key words in the first stanza. To me it is saying that this person is a smooth talker and can't help how they feel. But here these words hurt this person. When you believe what you say it's hard to get it together. You don't even realize you are hurting the other person at times. Reality is very difficult to deal with. The third stanza is really where the poems plot twists. I like the use of colours in the right spots. Green is used well I feel to enhance the first two stanzas. They are jealous or envious of you. Red is also used well because it goes well with the heart. I feel like this person is at war within themselvesand also I can see them being sangry as well. And in turn that can cause a lot of problems. We do show a different side of us so i liked the mask lines. The mask is an emotion and both characters are feeling different ones. I liked the meaning behind this. Though you let your feelings out it has a lot of tone of anger here. You did well to put it all together. :)