This is going to be a rant, just comment if you relate :).
So from August-November I struggled a ton. Not as much as earlier in 2013 but I was starting to go downhill again. I was relapsing more often and each relapse there were more cuts that became deeper and deeper. I was in love with someone who was poisonous to me. I believed he cared about me, which at one point he did, but not anymore. He started to drift away, talking to me less, and I just figured he was busy. Then I really opened my eyes and thought for a second. He's making me feel WORSE as I'm waiting hopelessly so often just to even hear from him- thinking he cares, as he's out doing whatever giving excuses for not talking to me. If you know me which I know you guys don't, I am VERY understanding when it comes to communication. I totally understand if someone's busy or doesn't want to talk, more than I should. But when the person who you think loves you doesn't talk to you for over a week- not even a "hello" something's up. I confronted him and sure enough he gave up. I gave this person a second chance and he blew it. I should have known, but I loved him. My friends knew he was trouble from the beginning, but I couldn't see. He said, "I would've left awhile ago, I was afraid you'd go crazy or something." He thought I'd kill myself. But little did this guy realize many other people helped me when he WASNT there for me. When he was out living his perfect life never acknowledging me, then saying he was "trying to keep me happy" I was getting closer to people who actually cared about me. I was done with this BS. We didn't date because this person couldn't do long distance, so after this confrontation we stopped talking. He has a new girlfriend now who probably doesn't know even a quarter of what I did. If anyone else did they'd leave him. I couldn't say how many times he's been dumped because of how he is. I can safely say I'm over it. All I have left is the hatred. He lied to me when I thought he had changed. What I figured out is he won't ever change. Never. But now I'm with the most amazing guy ever. He gets me. He has a lot of the same problems as I do. And he treats me like I actually matter. I've never felt like a first choice until I met him. I saved his life multiple times. And I can honestly say I am in love with him. He's the man this other guy never could be. He is compassionate, sympathetic, caring, and strong. Never let anyone make you feel worthless. Because someone out there believes you are the world to them. I guarantee it.
