The first time I wrote this poem was around two years ago, and I think I have tried to re-write it five times ever since.

I totally agree about the first two stanzas, but I've always been insanely conflicted about what I want to do with them.

The poem itself was written in response to the crisis of a really, really bad break-up, and the heaviness of the conflict between loving and hating someone at the same time. It took over a year before I forgave both her, and myself, and found the tranquility that is still loving the memories and experiences it gave me.

The poem itself is completely about that inner struggle. But in hindsight, since I don't have that conflict anymore and it being quite old, I can't really rewrite it anymore, and have to put up with it the way it is as it is.

I think a lot of it is flawed to this day, but that both makes sense, and fits, I think, because flaws are what created it.

"Finding a new distaste" was in itself both about me and her, and us trying to find the distaste, the nausea, in who we had become at that point, to wear it on our sleeves. But mostly, it was her getting past it faster than I, and me being bitter about it, getting a bad taste in my mouth by it. Her change happened faster than mine, she grew out of the fragments of our severed bond faster than I did, and I was never sure how I could properly put that into a single sentence, and I still don't really know.

But yeah. Your analysis is very spot-on. I was, at the point of writing it, slowly breaking down, but still staying on the path of changing into someone else. It was tough, but it ended up being better for the both of us, and the "distaste" is since long gone, and because of that, refining the language of the poem is very hard for me at this point.

I thank you dearly for your very in-depth comment by the way, and "the combination of strawberry and red wine" was one of the few traits that hasn't left my memory, because she did have that very specific scent.

Again, thank you for your comment, it's really appreciated.