Comments : Love u

  • 10 years ago

    by Everlasting

    Love is hard to find. But I think when is found is totally worthy. I would have liked to read a little more of your piece. At first read I felt it was kind of short though it was straight to the point. I think (just a suggestion) to use either more punctuation or to take advantage of line breaks to hint the reader where you want them to make pauses. But I liked the read.

    My first love is Craig Wallace and the last
    he is my world and my lover
    but it's hard to find one out there
    that you will love forever...

    ^ I would have broken it down like the above and add the three dots to make the idea stand out. There different ideas one can draw from reading this piece.

    One, the first two lines show confidence that he is your love yet the last two can either show that you feel lucky/bless to have found love or that in fact you feel some time of doubt and fear... That it may not last forever