Comments : Can't Make You

  • 10 years ago

    by Thomas

    I consider this poem strict to the point, unlike most romantic, or thought-begging poems that I've red(not all, just a sum), which I don't particularly have an interest in, probably due to my different view of art; and of course, it's easy to digest.
    There are two issues, however (one that may only appeal to me, the other quite obvious):
    "Smell the soft sent so fine"
    Do you mean a soft sent, as in, a soft message or communicative method, or a scent, a smell?
    The other issue is the rhyming of feast and last; mayhap use something else such as 'at least'; this would consequentively require you to rework that one line, unless you'd still want to keep the intensification of the moment - that finally, after an exhausting treck, love will make its appearance.
    Otherwise, great piece.