Comments : Dead of Winter

  • 10 years ago

    by Beautiful Soul

    This poem is really lovely Andrea. I love how you can take one thing or character and take the reader on a journey. here I feel as if the character is out in the woods or out on a walk in the chilling night air. I always am fond of the use of footprints because that tells me a lot about the character. Oh in the first stanza foot prints should be footprints. But I loved how they become shadows. It feels like the character here is being forgotten or the snow is very heavy that it coversup eeverything. I love the tone of this as well because it seems like the person loves being in nature but also you give the reader a dark feeling because of the time frame and wording. Though at the end it seems like the character has hope and peace because of looking at the stars. I loved this though because youtake the reader on a journey and eveverything is just great. Well done

  • 10 years ago

    by BlueJay

    This piece is beautiful. You used such simple descriptions yet the scene was painted out beautifully. And the details not only describe the scene and character but also the emotion that is still being conveyed - even faintly. I really enjoy how easily you pulled me into this piece and made me apart of the adventure. Your word choice was really spectacular here. Wonderful write!

  • 10 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Etched in winter drippings
    of a foggy frost,
    my foot prints became
    shadows in the night.

    - I often feel night time usually leads to reflection in poetry, like time to reflect upon things, remember things, worry about things, get lost in the darkness of the night instead of the darkness sometimes in our souls. And I feel this is one of those poems, however you hide it within the nature tones. I also feel shadows here can relate to the thoughts that you do not want to have, but yet they always have a way of showing up.

    The further I ventured
    down a haunted evergreen maze,
    heavy coats of silver
    caused branches
    to bow before me.

    - I got the image here of snow being quite thick and heavy and weighing down the branches. I love the idea that they bow before you, it is like they are welcoming your presence and they know your love and admiration for them.

    shuffling powder to boot-

    powder to boot...
    walking under an ebony sky,

    as messages form
    from a frosty exhale.

    - You word this so well, given that the imagery is just of someone walking in the snow and breathing out in the cold air. You make it sound so interesting and really capture that exhale.

    I see stars under a dead winter night,
    spirited heart beats chime
    in the still of natures chill...

    - I think you should change heart beats to heartbeats, as I stumbled ever so slightly thinking you maybe meant a single heart, beats chimes, in which case chimes should be plural and you would need an "a" before spirited. But I assume you mean plural.

    Natures = nature's

    I also think you should change your comma at the end of night, and use an adjoining word such as when, as, while etc.
    Just to make it end very smoothly. So...

    I see stars under a dead winter night
    as spirited heartbeats chime
    in the still of nature's chill

    Nice to read something from you again. You do have a gift of words. You also have a way of expressing emotion that is hidden behind a scene of simple nature which for some people, will never truly surface if all the see is the top layer of the work. Somehow, I always do the opposite and go for the bottom layer and find deeper emotion.

    Hugs x

  • 10 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    I always love your nature pieces Andrea, and I was pleased to see this one, it really is beautiful and even though their is a hint of sadness, a little darkness in the lines, their is still a beauty.
    It's the emotion and the depth of this piece that drew me in and I love your ability to do that, you captivate with strong imagery and amazing power.

    Love it :) x