This is a good piece of writing. I like it. Some pointers though: there is contradiction in continuity and the chain of logic is broken: You say all you ever wanted was that little portion. Then all the sudden you do not want just a little and start to complain why it last too little, it did not last till, or during the night, you could not even savor it right, so suddenly you drank it all by yourself; meaning that you were so thirsty and that milky bread, was so little, (so as your love) that you could not wait to share either IT, or the moment of drinking it, so you did it all alone by yourself. (perhaps only loving yourself, or only thinking of the beloved that you could not wait for even though you knew he/she would come.) And this finishes the cycle of contradiction or inauthenticity in both your love, and your piece, because the little was not all you wanted, you wanted a lot, you did not want love, you wanted the release, therefore you could not even wait for the subject of love to arrive to drink IT with. And in the end, even by mistaking that that was love which you wanted it, because if it was love it had to be given and there is always two to tangle, but you couldn't wait you drank it alone. Or in case, if it was just only your love, so you already had it, why did you need to ask for it?

The smart a.. ending, even though a good "punch line" kind of style, is such a waste of talent. A psycho analysis of this piece would tell that the writer of it is pretensions and her love is not authentic. But I know how authentic you are and about love, we all are student and learning.

The current force of sites like this and the competitions, pushes the members to come with these kind of rush rush poems that capture attention so fast for the sake of the weekly competition, which is so forceful and obsessive. ( haha people sell their soul to get up there than when their name is announced they would say things like this: who me?? O I am so honored. I did not know, and then the list of thanks comes.) but a talent like you should not get affected by the rush hours, a true talent as Don Juan said, must """""STOP THE WORLD""""" instead, and NEVER EVER sacrifice the context for the form, the quintessentiality, for the entertainment reason.

I love the "night fall on my bone" and few other amazing imageries, and even the style, they all are the sign of a true talent, the mood is so heart felt, it reminds me of Langston Hughes poetry.

Nice
I am so thirsty of love.
Actually we all thirsty of love & all want milk of love whole night .

Way of expression is good.