118 days clean
how I never thought i'd get to this point.
half a year ago
i couldn't go a week without relapsing
i couldn't stay away
from something that was slowly killing me
too far in this addiction
between the relief
of my pain being let out
in the worst of ways.
half a year ago
i was weak
broken
and fragile
but not anymore
i'm not triggered as much
i have created a barrier
of strength
protecting me
from that blade hitting my paper-thin skin.
i don't come home
and break down in tears anymore
i smile more now
and have more hope for each day
being better than the one before.
i have grown stronger
and more able to cope
in the correct ways.
that blade doesn't define my strength
no longer does it control me
the urges will always be there
the past will always be apparent on my skin
but it's who I was
not who I am
recovery is the most rewarding
and beautiful thing
i have done in a long time.
