Good-Bye

I can hear you
and so do i listen,
to your screams and yells,
but you're always dissin`.
I don't do to you
as you do to me.
I don't try to hurt you
when you try to hurt me.
I am so scared,
my soul so empty,
my heart filled with anger,
with anguish and envy.
You keep showing your hate
towards me and my sister.
We take in the pain
and you cause us to suffer.
I keep trying so hard,
these days are so long.
You know i'll never want to be
like you, so mean,
so strong and still so wrong.
Some kind of pleasure,
found in what you do,
not quite sure
that i really even know you.
You're different somehow,
changing your ways,
you're just not the same.
Sometimes i talk back,
"Leave me alone" i yell
as i slam my door.
When i wake up the next day,
my door has vanished
completely off the hinges.

I tell you to stop,
but you keep on.
I'm stuck in this world,
can't find my way out.
You look into my eyes
and i start to cry.
The pain in hold
just won't go away.
You don't know how bad you hurt me
and i want to make you know.
I threaten to leave,
run away and not ever come back,
unsure of where I'd go.
I say bad things,
that i dont always mean,
but whatever I do
you do worse back to me
and the things you do
I want to do back,
but deep in my heart
I know you could kill me
and I'm not ready to die,
so back to my room
I slump back in my bed.
Lie myself down
and cry myself I sleep.
Why do you keep yelling
even in my dreams.
I hear every damn word you say
so why repeat yourself everyday?
It only makes me madder,
I want to rebel,
but then I will only fall deeper
into an unknown hell.

A coma in a hospital,
alone and afraid.
I am lonely without you,
so sad, yet so true,
but deep in my soul I'm glad.
I hope and pray for just one day
when I don't have to hear you.
I just can't wait for that day to come.
Why is it that my reasons are so dumb?

Squeeky tires,
everyone has stopped.
I can hear the sirens from afar,
and see the roof top of your car.
I hope for it to not be,
because now as I sit here,
my hands presse together,
I begin to pray,
for now.
i wish I hadn't seenm
what so badly I wanted to see.
when i made my way down
I see someone's hair, not yours,
although I can see your car.
You're in it and i get so scared.
i don't want to see you,
blood filling your knotted hair.
When I go into the waiting room,
they come tell me she's dead.
now as I look back an remember the hair,
wasn't yours, who's could it have been?
You were selfish and greedy
and I didnt know what to do,
but it had turned out
that she has died too,
she had a daughter
one just like me.
You ruined her life
and mine too that day.
It wasn't her fault,
but yours, just like it always was.
You were drunk when it happened,
they said it was quick,
no pain was felt
nor any tear had fell.
Just hazy and black
for there was no one to tell.

So scary here,
up so high,
not quite sure,
that I';m ready to die.
I sigh,
I jump,
I fall,
I cry,
It feels as if
I can almost fly. . .
but then I hit the ground,
blood all over
as I hit with a splat.
Please help me.
Tell my brother that I love him,
my sister to be brave,
and my mom not to be afraid.
As suddenly everything is over.
The voices are leaving
no more can i hear.
I have gone finally,
no more shall I fear.
I knew it was the only way
to take my own life
on that cold winter day,
now I am really gone
there's no coming back.
I am happy now
all belongings shall be packed.

in my last coma
so happy and so glad
you didn't put me here.
I was tortured
but now I am finally free.
Now I am alone,
empty, void,
abandoned, vacant,
bare and stripped
of everything.
Good-bye.