The truth
It will destroy you
An August day
While you sweep up rose petals
On our Sun drenched porch
You look at me from under heavy lashes
And say it's ok
You don't wish to be without me
It's ok your always want me
Your never stop
I'll bask in this glory
Thanking God for you loving me
As tears prick the back of my eyes
The hand around my heart squeezes a little tighter
Until I am breathless with it
In time
There is a difference to us
Making love is no longer rushed
After
I look at you, looking down at me
But neither of us say it's pointless
Your days a little darker
A little longer
Things a little more useless
The hand around my heart squeezes a little tighter
As the truth picks away at your dreams one by one
At Christmas we pretend we are still happy
Completely in love
While in the garden with your sister
The truth pours out of me in great sobs
She says it's ok your get through this
We both know she's lying
Inside she's crying
I had no right in making you love me
So the hand squeezes a little tighter round my heart
Somewhere along the way
Anger rises
The tension surprises us
You begin to resent me
Hate me for letting you love me
And I am sorry
I stayed a little too long
Cared a little too much
I needed this whatever it was
So the hand squeezes a little tighter round my heart
Invisibly I collect my possessions
Storing them
They lay in wait
Courage appears
At three in the morning on a Tuesday
Quietly I get my things
Wait by the window for a taxi
As the hand squeezes a little tighter round my heart
The knowledge erupted
Watching you hold your new Godson
Looking at me longingly
Knowing I can never give you this
Tears glazing your eyes
Looking so proud
It's wrong for me to keep you
With me this is all your ever be
A childless man
In your hallway
You help with my bags saying nothing
I will never be wife, never be a mother
Without you I'll never be anything
As the cab pulls away
You say your always love me
I say I know
But I have to let you go
I'm giving you a chance of what I can't give you
The most precious thing
A family
