That was wonderfully depressing, made me remember the importance of life and the way other people value each other. Thank you, that was a great poem, despite the sad subject matter it was sweet.

Lose her own self.

- I would just have this line reading as herself.. and not own self.

Your poem is really powerful, I like the lay out of two lines each, and the rhyming through out and flow was really good. It was subtle, didn't seem forced.

Your tone remained the same throughout and your wording kept the interest, I couldn't help myself but to read on and on and want to find out more about this little story and the characters you introduced.

You had some really moving lines in here. Some which I could relate to a lot and I am sure other readers will too.

Sad, but very well written.