Excellent written

Wow, very well written

Wow Hellon, this poem is really true in the way of poetic skills, wording and layout.

From the bowels of depression
grow sepia buildings tall
an army of sentinels
one hundred fold they sprawl.

- I love the opening flow here, it creates a beat and a quick snappy rhythm to read along with. The bowls of depression was very unique, and shows how deep in the depression this is aimed at. I love the wording also of one hundred fold they sprawl, it stands out so much and reminds me of the wording from older set poems.

Shoe box neighbours living
together and yet, apart
in an infrastructure built
by a government with no heart.

- you can get the feel of loneliess here, even though so close to someone else, you hide away and keep to yourself, so even though together, you are indeed apart. I really like your choice of the government without a heart here. Quite politically relevant to housing today and prices and well, just life??

Shoulders hunched, vacant eyes
that never see day's light
the bitter taste of oppression
once more their supper tonight.

- the description here is so strong, I can so imagine these poor people, having nothing, the shoulders hunched implying coldness and hopelessness, vacant eyes imply these people have given up on life and hopes, they just survive now, often going hungry.

Acherontic thoughts and stygian days
an existence, not a life
thunderclaps of injustice
injure more than any knife.

- I totally agree here, with the injustice being so painful and hard to accept and move on from, knowing you deserve better but will never get it. also, thank you for adding in some words I did not know and had to look up haha, unique and powerful, and gets the brain trying to connect them first.

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EPITAPH

"Mahogany thoughts of rosewood
not a choice for those deprived
coloured hues and promises
never meant you would survive".

- oh Hellon, that ending is so sad, so moving. To think even that in death, these people do not get what is deserved to them, what others take for granted. the creativeness here is very good, to add in that epitaph for the ending of the poem. The flow of your words throughout this poem is very smooth, subtly rhyming in places and just connecting so well.

another one of my favourite poems from you, and the title is just amazing on its own, to offer that idea of depression, lingering, rain, just dullness really.

Nice work.!!

I think it makes all the difference reading this poem out loud. It has a natural flow and is laden with this tangible sadness, the oppression of the people. My favorite lines are "shoe box neighbors", "archerontic thoughts" and then the "mahogany thoughts of rosewood"... such a depressing ending but I like your unique approach with the epitaph. It's quite memorable and makes me think of being alive, breathing, yet not having life within you. Having no spirit or justice or hope.

Congrats on the win, very well-deserved!

Congrats on the win! :)

Hellon has truly amazed me with this brilliantly, colorful poetic gem here. I can't say enough about this poem without rambling on and on so I will try and get to the main points of this top poem of the week in my opinion.

The title for starters is quite perfect for the message, very unique and holds a power within itself. Titles are important to top of a poem and she has done that and more. A cloudy street reminds me of chaos and mayhem, sorrow and pain.
The poem was written in an elegant rhyme form and it flowed beautifully. One of the true gifts of Hellon's writing is the gift to tell a message with such creativity and metaphoric delight that you can't help but go on several angles of the message.
What I gained from this heartbreaking poem was that of war and turbulence, ending in death.
To end this beautiful rhyme poem with an Epitaph form was one of the many reasons I chose this poem for my ten choice. It made this poem stand out in more ways than one, and each time I read this poem I cried. Powerful poem by Hellon this week!

A powerful and expertly crafted piece here with wonderful flow and accomplished rhyme which is seamless.
All the best,
Ben