Unhappy Affliction
by Chris Swiderski Mar 30, 2014
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Brash, brazen and unrelenting |
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Latest Comments
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10 years ago
by Darren
Judges comments
I love to read a poem that has had all unnecessary words binned. Just look at the last stanza in this piece to see what I mean. Only 14 words but it says as much as a page full, there is pausing, a strong sense of tone and then a real sense of remorse. Interesting that disease is hyphenated yet make-up isn't? But I leave that to artistic licence. I applaud the alliteration at the beginning and the use of some intelligent words throughout. This is cleverly written and very sad as well. The best part for me is the second from last stanza. That line really hits home. Great write a worthy 7 points.-
10 years ago
I appreciate your comments Darren, as my simplistic nature in this piece was not overlooked. The use of "dis-ease" refers to the crippling stress that all of us choose to endure throughout our lives, and "makeup" refers to my very composition being in disarray. I say "choose" because many have taught me, that it is a self-affliction, to worry. What starts as an over-inflated assumption of self-worth, or lack thereof in my case, can quickly spiral down into a devouring hole of torment and feelings of inadequacy. Such as I found myself in, time and time again.
...Guess I'm not as simple as I'd lead myself to believe. hehe
Thanks for reading/commenting ^-^
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10 years ago
by Maple Tree
No words can express my love for this poem... !! awesome Chris!
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10 years ago
Much thanks, glad you liked it. c:
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