Ah, I see

you wrote it with 8 syllables in each line, does it have a meter? I read it aloud and it has some beat on certain parts but there are others where it loses it ( at least to me) though the flow is not affect it. I enjoyed the story, it has a haunting atmosphere. well done

Wow, nice imagery. Very wonderful read. Thanks for sharing, 5/5.

Whatever you pen makes me wish to read more. I like the smoothness and the uninterrupted flow from start to end. Very nice!

This is really smooth. The rhythm, rhyme and imagery are perfect though I felt it was cut short as it was really written well

All the best, Em