This poems message is very strong and I loved the dark imagery you provide the reader. The emotions hit your heart hard and you can feel the guys pain here. I loved how in the first stanza you "build up" the eerie feeling. The thunder storm being the main point here. I don't love the word "lightly" to closing the door. You could use slowly. That to me would show the guy not seeing the girl right away then you start out the second stanza of him rushing up to her.

The second stanza shows more of a sad tone as well. Ibbelieve you show the guys emotions here as shock because he does not yet believe she is really gone. I really love the last line of this stanza because it shows true love and the love he had for her and it's a nice touch in a really dark poem.

I don't love the numbers in the third stanza but that's just me. It takes away the flow of the first two stanzas to me. Though it is a good stanza because you wanted to show the reader how this girl died. Because that's how you build it up. I don't love how you don't say why she died. We can only speculate on this. My opinion it could be that the guy broke this girls heart and in the end he realized that he still loved her.

I like the last stanza because you ended it well. You brought everything back around again and killed the guy. Anyways. This is a very nice story but tragic. Nicely written. Edit: The title I feel is perfect because it adds to the poem and talks about the main plot overall. Saying goodbye to the one you love.

It kind of reminds me of Romeo and Juliet type but i would ACTUALLY want to read this story if mafe into a story/play i really liked it except the last line for me i think you forced it if it's just me ignore the comment also i loved how it flowed really nicely daughter

Awe cute i couldn't write Romeo and Juelit stuff cause I'd murder the dude I'm not a fan of that play lmao

For being short the story here had no problem being told and being told well. I like the style you chose, really I do. I think it feels a little too matter of fact (missing emotion) to do the story any justice though. Other than that, well written. Nice choice on the title.

oh and by the way the imagery was very well done :)