Comments : A Bird's Message

  • 10 years ago

    by Sylvia

    I love the thoughts of the bird being "spoken" and how that bird feels about what it sees and hears and how the bird feels ignored, much like a human would feel. On a technical side, you had used rhymes pretty good until the last 4 lines and there is none. Sort of distracts from the reading.

    • 10 years ago

      by Maher

      You're right, I did get lazy toward the end. Got a tad too sleepy that night and the inspiration wore off. Thanks for the feedback :)

  • 10 years ago

    by Darren

    Judges comments

    This is one of those poems that makes you utter the word "wow" once you have read it. If you are like me you then start to turn a slight hue of green and wish that you had thought of it. What I like is the message interwoven from start to finish, of how we are so busy in our daily lives and how we as the human race get caught up in our own personal spaces, to even notice such a thing as a bird singing. What I will say is that as poets I feel we DO sometimes stop and notice the little things. This is what inspires us and obviously inspired Maher. Nice rhyming scheme and I love the town crier type narrative. 10 points.

    • 10 years ago

      by Maher

      Thank you! That's a huge compliment I really appreciate that you read it :)

  • 8 years ago

    by Marvellous

    Distraction, is shared attention. A listener, is good to go.

    • 8 years ago

      by Maher

      Thank you Sir :)