Panic rushes over me as I feel fear wrap around my heart.
Doubt washes over me and fills my lungs.
The weight of helplessness sits on my chest making it hard to breathe.
Dread moves in like a fog and makes it nearly impossible to think.
I want to give in, I need to give in.
But I can't.
Even though my body is telling me I'm drowning and I should scream and signal for help, I can't give in.
How can I explain to this room full of people who only ever see me smile that inside I am dying.
How can I tell them that I am terrified I have made the wrong decisions in life. That the confidence I show them is only surface deep.
They can't see that just below the surface I am slipping into the abyss. How can I tell them?
I can't.
I must drown in silence. I must continue to mask my sorrow and fear.
