There's such a battle going on here... I liked how you wrote about the influence this ghost has on you, how real and dangerous it is whether it's a person or you are personifying a feeling/idea that haunts you. How cruel they were to twist meanings and persuade you that it would be better to be with them then face death. Or that those two options were all you had.

The pain is so evident here and it's heartbreaking. With the "counting numbers" and "nauseous from the smells" indicating something is wrong, an illness perhaps or something unhealthy you're trying to get past. That ending really struck me - how often do we lie to ourselves or tell others we're doing what's best? Sometimes in the end we realize we may need help, because it may be too hard to handle it or face it head-first on our own. Stay strong.

Here for you... glad you could write it out.

When I read a poem that has been poured onto paper with true heart and soul, I can't explain the emotions I too feel when I read it.
Jenni Marie has captured the true essence of writing within this poem. The pain of a destructive relationship between another can cause such emotion and turmoil that the writer can't help but get it onto paper. Truly a raw write that needs and deserves to be highlighted!