Comments : On a Saturday Afternoon

  • 10 years ago

    by Darren

    I am liking these shorter ones, Very thought provoking...although I must admit, my first reaction was 'Marble floor?' bit posh aint it?

    Line two is great, I am still trying to figure out line 4......

    .....

    still on it...

    patching?

    ....

    Is it making the path patchy?

    scattering its clothes over the pathway?

    sometimes I impress myself with my half wittedness.

    • 10 years ago

      by Saerelune

      Thanks for the comment!

      Well haha i never thought about the floor like that though i was simply stating what was happening (our living room does have a marble floor lol), but i agree the material can give a different vibe to the poem. What do you think? Should reality be altered to fit a poem better or is honesty in poetry truly what matters? I'm also just asking myself this question.

      As for the use of patches. I see patches as pieces of material to cover up wounds. So i guess i was saying i was repairing the path with patches of leaves. So yes it's scattering clothes over the pathway. :p

  • 10 years ago

    by Everlasting

    Non related to the poem but just wondering...

    Did you ever received my letter? I wrote it by hand like the title says

    • 10 years ago

      by Saerelune

      Letter....? o.O Don't think I received anything, anywhere?

  • 10 years ago

    by Everlasting

    Ah, I knew I shouldn't have sent it with a pigeon. I tied it well to its foot and I asked the pigeon to look for saerelune. I guess my luck, the letter is now having the time of its life, flying in a pigeon's foot. Traveling god knows where, with whatever I may have written on it. But alas, at least that letter is flying with my imagination into idk what. I had hope it may have been into your mailbox.

    • 10 years ago

      by Saerelune

      Ah but saerelune's much more a child of the ocean waves rather than the wind, next time try a sea turtle, might be a bit slower but it'll surely reach her.

  • 10 years ago

    by Everlasting

    A sea turtle? Why didn't I think of that? I shall start my trip and go in search of one. Though I am afraid that when the turtle submerges in the ocean, that the letter might get drenched in its waters, and sadly, it might dissolved before ever reaching Saerelune. Do you know if the turtle wouldn't mind carrying a letter in a bottle? Rather do you know any sea turtles that knows how to get to Saerelune?

    • 10 years ago

      by Saerelune

      I'm sure it wouldn't mind the bottled letter if you just feed it enough ... fishes? I'm not sure how sea turtles work actually, I only have a pond turtle. It used to eat tomatoes and cabbage, then it discovered the world of dried fish. Quite a gluttonous one, really.

      Maybe the pond turtle knows the whereabouts of sea turtles. I am sure that, where there are sea turtles, there is Saerelune. Though she enjoys being with penguins as well, but hates the cold.

  • 10 years ago

    by Everlasting

    Hmm.. I see. Upon growing up, I used to have a pond turtle too. Though, this one only wanted flies and insects. I could not feed it anything else. So I ended up giving it to someone who had a fountain in their yard. I didn't even know if it was a she or a he. Any who, I shall search for the sea turtle.

    And I shall re-write that letter that is flying in the pigeon's foot, or even better, I shall write a whole new one. Would you like to help me?