Dark Destiny

It sounds like you're praying for somebody, or offering sound advice that isn't being taken. As far as flow and composition goes, the AABBCC scheme feels a little chunky on the first read through, but then as I reread it, it fit rather well, balanced by the "wiser safer lighter," which ended the poem with a keen rhythm. I enjoyed reading it and thinking about it.

Thought-provoking piece, Michael. This made me think about our own destinies, do we always choose with the free will given or are some specific parts of our lives interfered with where we are met with new circumstances we've never realized? That we are made to experience darkness or tragedy at one point? That we may try our best to follow a set path yet we become lost and meet other things that twist our hold on life. I liked how you spoke about feeling helpless, as I believe we often are. That we may have constant opportunities to help act, but we can't necessarily always influence someone in a more positive way if they don't do that for themselves. We can give hope but they must choose to accept it right? Those last two lines were powerful and made me picture those who do think darker thoughts, more negatively, who may live more dangerously in the unknown... they are burdened perhaps and cannot so easily heed the voices of others or take that hand that may lead them to light.

Very interesting, thanks for sharing.

Like the way it flows and does it flow? I don't really know but it's beautiful and dark and I love the combination of both and the warning the poem gives it's like a forewarning very interesting