Comments : Until you offer to hold me.

  • 10 years ago

    by BlueJay

    "Day becomes widowed;
    I continue to hug my
    shadow, snitching time."

    ^ This is a stunning intro to a remarkable piece. It is also my favorite stanza in this piece because the imagery and voice here is amazing, very unique as well.

    I know the piece is short enough as it is, and I could dissect the rest of it, but if i did that I could really just say each one is magnificent or phenomenal and that wouldn't really make for much of a critique would it? (not that you really need one, but that's the point of this tiny little box, isn't it?)

    Anyway, back to the piece (sorry about the mini rant). I really like how there's two or three ways to interpret this piece. In one way it starts off almost powerless, well that's not really the right word... but umm... maybe lost? or at least hurt. and in the end there is so much more ... strength? love? maybe just hope even. (I only put the question marks because like I said there are multiple ways to read it, at least in my view. And I am really not sure what you were truly going for).

    The description is beyond unique and it is well penned. Your word choice is powerful and spot on. For being such a short work (especially compared to some of yours) this is no less potent or poignant than any of the others.

    Phenomenal write as always

  • 10 years ago

    by BlueJay

    Oops sorry about the double post