or sign in with e-mail
by Jackie Jul 3, 2014 category : Sadness, depression / about depression
I'm surrounded all around me I'm standing in a big glass box It's empty and very silent I'm left only with my thoughts I'm moving and the doors open Those I loathe are what I see The ones that beat, scratched, and pulled The ones that took advantage of me I realize I'm in an elevator The only button to press is down Seeing nothing below me Anything is better than where I am now I quickly press the button It was cold against my palm The next time the doors opened I'm greeted by my mom She stood there very coldly She didn't say a thing Just like I've always viewed her Distant. And intimidating My stomach started to turn Because I know what she thinks of me So again I hit that button To explore more down below me The lights aren't as bright anymore A couple must have gone out Oh well it's not a big deal My decisions I don't doubt I'm greeted by my family The ones who never say a word I'm not surprised they didn't say hi From them that would be absurd Again I hit the arrow The one that's pointing down I wonder how high up I am Or am I closer to the ground I'm greeted by my one night stands The ones I don't remember The ones I used just to feel something A high number I'll have forever I think I remember that one But this guy I have no clue But instead of standing awkwardly Pushing the button is what I'll do It's getting pretty dark now I can tell where the lights once were Having to squint to see at all It's really all a blur The next door holds dear friends The ones that saved me in high school The ones that acted as father and supporter The ones that knew I wasn't a fool I almost step out to greet them But then my memory kicks in They've cut me off they're sick of me They don't know where I've been I hit the button another time This level is pitch black I can't see a thing at all I almost want to go back The door parts and I see you I don't know why you look sad I step out to hug you Unaware that everything is bad You start to slowly tear up But you won't tell me why So I begin to kiss you And that's all that I can try Your tears turn to sobs So I panic and back off Scared that I'll lose you But then I hear you scoff You're mad at me I see it But you won't say it to me You'd rather just ignore it And just easily let it be I turn around to leave But something I didn't see The back of the box is a mirror And I'm faced with a broken me My skin is very bruised I have no meat on my bones I'm covered head to toe with scars My eyes as cold as stones I don't like what I see So I turn back around to you But the doors are closed and you are gone Now what do I do There can't be anymore stops I pushed the button to leave every level It's dark. It's hot. I'm scared. I must be meeting the devil. I wish I never hit that button No not even one time I wish I could do it over And claim all that was mine But it's too late and here I go To a hell I supposed I asked I wish I could get out Of my elevator made of glass