Every time I see you and you walk by me without so much as a glance,
every time you avoid my gaze and ignore my greetings,
every single time I think of all the time I wasted.
Wasted time spent trying to win your affection.
Time spent fighting for something that couldn't and wouldn't ever be mine.
Time I can never get back.
Time I wish I could.
I think of all the times I told you I love you.
Three words that had my entire world balanced within them,
waiting desperately for the scale to be tipped in my favor.
Poisoned words that rarely passed your lips.
They were words that held no meaning to you,
or rather a meaning that was different then mine.
Words that led to crumpled sheets and hungry kisses.
In believing you I gave you everything.
And every single time I fell for it.
Every weekend spent thinking that this was it.
This time was different.
and every week spent crying 'cause it wasn't.
With every phone call or text that said you were wrong,
and every time those words of "we can't be together" passed your lips,
my heart broke.
I don't believe when you tell me you cried too,
I don't believe that you wanted to change our situation,
I don't believe that you tried too,
and I don't believe you loved me like I did you.
You don't do that to someone to you love,
and it took me a long time to learn that.
Wasted time.
Time I wish I had back.
You don't break their heart again and again,
based on a false presumption that your friends wont approve.
And I was a fool.
A fool because I let you.
But the saddest part of this hole situation,
is that even after three years,
every time you walk by me and ignore me,
it still stings.
Every time I see you and you walk by me without so much as a glance,
every time you avoid my gaze and ignore my greetings,
Every single time I think about how its still me trying.
Not trying to be with you.
Not trying to get you to love me.
Not trying to fix what will always be broken.
And not trying to go back to what we had.
It's me still trying to prove myself wrong.
That some part of you did care,
that some part of you loved me once,
that for once you will see me and feel my pain.
Because even after three years,
it still hurts.
and even after three years,
it still crushes me that you don't even flinch...
