Dead Snow - Acrostic

by Kakera   Jul 7, 2014


2014-07-08 00:25 AM

Death loses its impact when your soul is broken,
Everything always breaks, the glass you hide behind included,
And we drown in endless labyrinths of rhythmic
Darkness where dancing means the end of our Christmas dreams

Sorrow aches bitterly, doesn't it?
No money could buy a cleansing of the bloodstains away,
Or stop us from running in evil circles, deranged,
With our souls pale - painted white like dead snow

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Part of Saffie's Number Game, prompts were:
dead snow
blood money
circles
hiding behind the glass
a dream for Christmas

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Latest Comments

  • 10 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    I agree with senyru, your use of the prompts are great, and also to have this good a flow in an acrostic poem is very hard, and you have done it brilliantly. I am very impressed. The lines connect together very well and I didn't find myself stumbling at each new line like I can sometimes do in acrostics.

    The beginning of the poems has such a deep impact at first read, to feel so depressed and broken, that even death does not scare you, or worry you. It often seems better than life.

    I like the question you used in the first line of the second stanza, it was well placed and fits in well.

    I like the really dark tone through out - but especially the ending, where you mention that nothing will clean away this darkness from within.

    Very good job.

    • 10 years ago

      by Kakera

      Thank you for the feedback!

      I'm actually surprised myself that I randomly decided to make this an acrostic myself. The only prompt I'm unhappy with how I used is "hiding behind the glass", because if I *didn't* restrict it to an acrostic, I could do so much more with it, but in this case doing so would've broken the flow completely, probably. Other than that, I'm very happy with how this one came out.

      And yeah, my poems seem to be getting darker tones lately, aren't they?

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