Questions i ask myself

Have you ever stared at the ceiling asking god why, wondering when all the pain is going to end?

Have you ever wondered what life would be like if you no longer existed?

If you had one regret what would that be?

I have sat up at the dead of night, wondering about my life as millions of thoughts race through my head, as past memories flood my mind and wondering when all of my sadness and pain will end.

I have thoughts so many thoughts, ways to end my life. Thinking Ive finally been defeated and I have almost gave up quite a few times, I have had doubts in my mind, I have thought of ways that I could show everyone that I was defeated, so I could head down the lonely road that so many go down when help is all they needed.

I have many regrets, too many. I have lost count. If I could change my life with another persons maybe it would be more perfect. I obsess about things I cant control, it would be nice to be able to control my surroundings or control my feelings.

But I am still here, I'm still fighting the battle that may never be won but I will be hopeful because I have many times thought I have lost but I still get through it