Comments : Conversations Below the Pier

  • 10 years ago

    by Rainbow Writers

    I'm quite shocked, even appalled at the fact that this poem has zero comments! It's extremely well-written!

    "You spoke of changes
    as we poured salt on
    the brim of our wounds
    and drowned our worries
    inside a bottle of bourbon."

    I'm in love with this stanza - it's extremely descriptive and the diction you chose made it seem more personal. The imagery of pouring salt onto wounds is quite a clever one as it's a physical representation of the notion of wanting to change after being emotionally injured, (and typically people drown their sorrows away with a bottle of alcohol, which you mentioned which leads me to think that the speaker is quite hesitant about change, as they don't think it's possible or want to address any of their 'injuries'.
    -

    "We're like the
    rocks and the sea;

    we clash every
    time the wind
    blows in a
    different direction,

    we crumble and
    spiral down into
    a black abyss,
    gulping for just
    one small breath
    of appreciation,

    but no matter what,
    we

    always
    always
    always

    resurface somewhere
    along the shore,
    searching for our
    love on the rocks."

    Absolutely loved this part - it's romanticized, and I absolutely love the repetition of always. I don't see many poets utilizing repetition in their poems these days, so that's a welcomed sight! I absolutely loved this portion, probably my favourite out of the poem!
    -

    "The tide nipped at our
    toes as you caressed
    my thigh like it was
    a promise,

    a one way ticket to
    all of my tomorrows.""

    Once again, I absolutely love this imagery and I'm amazed at your story-telling abilities. The idea of a one way to ticket is quite romantic, and it's great you ended it that way. There's tinges of sadness tucked away in some of the words in this poem - but I think the speaker's trying to compensate that for their love for the significant other (or whoever 'you' is).