Choking on the black rose.

by Darren   Jul 18, 2014


** found in my sent emails, resubmitted and edited**

And so darkness arrived and extinguished my emotions,
as a young harpy tickled my eyes with tail feathers,
though I could feel hatred pounding from her chest.

Never will simple sleep deliver a dream in her company,
a dirty fingernail protruding from her wretched wrist,
scraping my skin away from my cheeks, digging for excuses.

Was I slumbering with raging thoughts again?
Or drowning in her ocean of bellowing taunts?

I could see the black rose being plucked from my mind,
it whispered angrily that my time was soon done,
she used the stem to dig out my iris as the petals showered,
each landing purposefully in my mouth, wrenched open aghast.

As I choked my final fantasy, she laughed so loud and fast,
my ears shattered into shards of glass cutting me away from reality.

This harpy wins, again.

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Latest Comments

  • 10 years ago

    by Tori Pipes

    Bone chilling.. indeed fair, work needed

    • 10 years ago

      by Darren

      Yes it is a little rambling, thanks for reading

  • 10 years ago

    by Beautiful Soul

    Starting out a poem with "And" Is great because it throws the reader right into the story. The imagery is so vivid here. And I believe that is what you were going for overall. I believe you wanted to captivate the reader and make them feel what you were feeling overall. You did this for me as you sucked me in. There is no technical stuff from what I saw so good job with that. But the flow was great as you went from one scene to the next.

    The poem itself was interesting and unique to me. You start out strong (like I said). It seems this person is in a nightmare but it's a real life one. Like they are battling one part of many demons they were trying to hide. I really like how this person is hurting but you say this is a "Final fantasy". That tells me this person could be addicted to pain but also enthralled by it. The last line stands out to me a lot. "The harpy wins, again" the smallest thing is the comma. You paused to build up "again" . to show this has happened many times before. Very clever!. Great poem.

    • 10 years ago

      by Darren

      Thanks again for a great comment James

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