Starting out a poem with "And" Is great because it throws the reader right into the story. The imagery is so vivid here. And I believe that is what you were going for overall. I believe you wanted to captivate the reader and make them feel what you were feeling overall. You did this for me as you sucked me in. There is no technical stuff from what I saw so good job with that. But the flow was great as you went from one scene to the next.

The poem itself was interesting and unique to me. You start out strong (like I said). It seems this person is in a nightmare but it's a real life one. Like they are battling one part of many demons they were trying to hide. I really like how this person is hurting but you say this is a "Final fantasy". That tells me this person could be addicted to pain but also enthralled by it. The last line stands out to me a lot. "The harpy wins, again" the smallest thing is the comma. You paused to build up "again" . to show this has happened many times before. Very clever!. Great poem.

Bone chilling.. indeed fair, work needed