Rose of thunder electrify my mind

by Darren   Jul 19, 2014


This grey mound no longer matters
entombed in gristle floating majestically
in a red sea that thins, then seeps.
before clotting, before boiling.

The thunder arrives loudly
so deafening, that even the dead are startled
from that promise of an eternal slumber.

That first strike of electricity catches my surprise
leads it hand in hand unto a new path
then bolts continuously rain hard, yet igniting no fire.

Time stands alone, there is no sound
just a beating heart, quickening slowly
trying to pump my will, as only it can.

The first spasm unlocks my rigid frame
pushes time and motion forward
an effort to restart life's drug

A single suicidal bead of sweat
begins deaths journey, salty
blazing a trail down my face
forging a path for a tear that follows.

Thoughts rebound and collide against each other,
desperate to clear the haze, steamed windows
remain unhindered, no fingers drawing happy faces.

Stepping back from my gaze in a mirror
I see that laughter lines only mock
happy in their ironic intrusion
trying to redesign my face.

A sliced finger writes in a claret
now familiar, no longer as warm
or indeed needed

Finger on the mirror
eyes focused briefly
questioning, a haiku?

"a thorny rose smiles
despite frost and parasites
reinvents, survives"

**resubmitted and edited, 1 of a few I had saved earlier on**

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Latest Comments

  • 10 years ago

    by Everlasting

    Haha I think if my memory doesn't fail me, that this one was the one I let my imagination fly and in turn I came up with a comment with some story. Somewhere in a cold weather, some one freezing... And the claret,, the wine bringing him back to life....

    Anywho, nice piece

    Now that (edit: now that I know what it is about) and that I read it again, my imagination used to be wild. I now see someone looking at the mirror. It's not the same thrill that I felt back them. :'(

    • 10 years ago

      by Darren

      Thanks luce I remember your comment, it was great, thanks for taking the time to read this again.

  • 10 years ago

    by Beautiful Soul

    Admittedly this poem is very difficult to interpret. But I found the story to be enthralling and "action packed". But I think the title is very important here because it tells me what the story is about. The mind or your mind actually. The metaphor was outstanding and its not really a read it and find the meaning kind of poem. There is so much hidden stuff here.

    Racing thoughts are like death for someone who is anxious. They become louder and louder. So I liked the thunder line. Great compare. Death is definitely not ambiguous. And I think you know or this person knows that feeling well. The feeling I get from this poem is nervousness and being scared. The sweat and tear line tells me that. But the tear is interesting. Its like a regret but it's too late to fix. This person seems to be falling more and more. This could almost read like a nightmare as well a very vivid one at that. And what tells me that is the ending. I loved the haiku or senryu you used. A rose or flower always blooms after a storm. Fighting for their life like a person who battles sadness. This is an excellent write! Well done.

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