Butterfly Dance

by Kakera   Jul 23, 2014


Summer came quick this year,
melting away our winter fears -
We jump into dreamlike states,
dancing like butterflies,
living life with wild abandon

Preaching life to the evergreen,
as watched from outside your window,
way past the anchors of industrial filth
weighing down our lungs,
hoping that we will never have to
give up our dreams;

Dancing like butterflies,
living life with wild abandon.

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Written for Baby Rainbow's club battle challenge

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Latest Comments

  • 10 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    This was awesome for the challenge! Well done.

    I like the use of the dancing butterflies, and also being with the word abandon, the contrast between these two things are huge.

    I also think you done well to lay the poem out, and use the repetition you did of these powerful lines, this leaves the impact behind of that clear image.

    Lovely write

    • 10 years ago

      by Kakera

      I really like this one too! It's actually literally the only one of the 20 or so I vomited out that I really really like unedited. So for the material out there otherwise, I'm cheating really badly and putting them together and rewriting them a bit under better circumstances. Like the one I uploaded just now, "Sink, or Swim?", took three entries, one of which being the 30-32 syllable one, and put them together with minor edits. Felt much better that way.

      But this one, I really love those two lines too! I think they're powerful, and I definitely managed to capture the images that I went for. At least that's what I think. Haha.

      Thanks!

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