My Final Decision

My soul is splintered, heart broken
I lose more of myself with every word spoken
and now it's not just my pillows I'm soakin'
with arms hurting from my method of copin'.
There's a lump in my throat that's hard to swallow,
and I can feel my eyes become even more hollow
but it's not like I can say I'm going dead,
I've just withdrawn while I decide on pills or lead.
Do I want to bite a bullet or swallow those pills
because I can't deal with the pain life instills,
and my thoughts only help rip my soul apart
I want to heal, but I don't know where to start.
Because it seems as soon as I heal one spot
somewhere else another starts to rot.
I'm just not fast enough for it to mean anything
so I'll end it and see if I've earned my wings.
I don't think I've dont anything too terribly wrong
that would prevent me from hearing Heaven's Song.