First of all I love the title!
Grips the reader in straight away.
He watches you from the shadows.
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I great way to start your piece, it sets a haunting scene in which the reader wants to read more to understand who is watching. So simple are your words which come to life in the visual readers mind!
He waits for the right time to take you to the next world.
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In this line it becomes clear that the character is death and he waits for us all, we dont know when he will come knocking on our door!
I liked the way you used next world it is really effective!
Death is something you should be afraid of.
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I love this line, so true, people most often fear death but never say it yet this line speaks what everyone feels deep inside, you have brought it to the surface.
When he has a grip on you, there is no escape.
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I love the way you have said this - so powerful and provides a build up to suspense
Everyone who has encountered Death rarely escapes with their lives.
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Such a great way to end this piece I love the way you have said "rarely escapes with their lives." So true but I never thought of it in that way!