Aftermath

Judging Comment:

Time stops dead and all sounds cease.
Air thickens, cloying and almost sweet
^^The stillness in these lines kept me wondering; the
wording also creates a heavy mood clouded with a black
atmosphere.

with fear.
We wait.

^^Waiting is always the worst part especially when its gripped
with fear. The unknown and its outcome deeply sets into the mind
and leaves us empty. What I like about this write is that it speaks of
loss without saying what it is, creates a somber mood without saying
it. Within this short write there is much said with feelings and imagery..
well done.

Very good job for Hannah's prompt.

I really like the title, it sums up your poem completely, as you tell us about what is left after the loss.

I like how you do not tell us about the event that happened, which I know was the point of the prompt. But you done it so vividly, that it worked so well. I also like your layout and structure of the poem, it is broken down nicely and smoothly flows together.

Great job.

Time stops dead and all sounds cease.
^^
An amazing way to orientate this poem, with a personification of time - so powerful and vivid!

Air thickens, cloying and almost sweet
with fear.
^^
I like the bitter sweet terms you have portrayed - describing so well the atmosphere change as soon as something unexpected occurs as tragedies happen so spontaneously.

We wait.
^^
Two words that create such a thick and dense mood, the suspense begins to build.

Suspended within our own thoughts,
like flies trapped in a web so fine we
cannot see.
Caught..
^^
Wow I love the distinct link to the predator and the prey the spider and the fly - you have crafted the words so beautifully here painting a clear image of the spider web so fine it is a great choice of words and scenery! I love how you ended this with caught - such a powerful effect and technique!

Until the clock begins once more to move
and noise comes crashing back in waves
of dread.
Its done.
^^
I like how you link back to the first line with the time being frozen with the continuation of time starting back again. I reminds me of surreal movies where time freezes and then begins later on you have captured this essence so naturally - like being in the eye of a storm - as the tragedy occurs time is frozen with the build up of shock and disbelief to the aftermath of repercussions where individuals have to jump back to reality and realise that life is still moving and they need to pick up the pieces of the destruction this tragedy left behind!

Now it is left for us to pick up scattered pieces
and to carry on as if all was the same
but how?
And why?
If with this tragedy there is a spark of hope
we can not see it yet amidst the shock
of loss.
^^
I can deeply relate - in the midst of tragedy it is like everything is thick and black, life is plainly not the same nor could it ever be. Hope seems to be a lost cause and there seems to be no light at the end of any tunnel - life is miserable and just unliveable as the one that gave your life inspiration and meaning is gone among lifes ashes leaving you behind - so alone and abandoned - I feel like this ending was so powerful and strong underlining such loss and grief!

5/5 from me :)
Hope you win the weekly contest also :)

First of all, thank you for participating! I'm very impressed with your poem and I hope that you continue to join in on the weekly writing prompts! :)

You done very well, I really love how you managed to give imagery and emotion to the poem and yet still didn't give away the actual tragedy! That was the whole point of the prompt, I wanted the poem to be more focused on the aftermath (great title choice) instead of the tragedy itself!

You literally took us to the moment right after the tragedy occurred, when life stood still for just a second and you are trapped within your thoughts of fear and maybe even confusion. Then, when the clock begins to tick once more, you realize what has happened and a flood of emotions hits you as you ponder on the questions, why did this happen? how can you move on as if nothing ever happened? If any kind of hope is within this tragedy, you just can't see it yet because you are still mourning, still in shock of loss.

For this poem to be short, it holds a lot of detail and emotion... it's truly incredible. I love it and will be nominating it for the weekly contest. :) Hope you win, dear!