I'm thrilled you put this one back up. One of my favs. It seems like you are saying at the beginning, you were born "different" in a way. That from the start your thoughts were mad and depressive. And you didn't believe in any God. You were just you, in anyway shape or form. Because of the depression you had racing thoughts and you could not control them, so you lie awake at night, thinking about life and all it has to offer. Love the running backwards line as well.

It tells me that you are thinking about your past and you cannot focus on "the now". I like how you went straight to the garden. It makes sense to me in a way, as you are consumed with thoughts you don't know where you are going or doing at all. And thats why the bee hits you in the eye. When you feel pain for minutes your thoughts focus in that, not anything else. So you focus on the bee. Love the non believer line, you are saying that you served to feel this because it's more difficult to live. Life gives a lot of people chances. Not always, but I get what you mean. At the end you feel like you can do anything if you believe in yourself. Excellent!