2.45

by Armada the Gestalt   Aug 14, 2014


Contentment is not on my roster
Too close to the world,
Ready to drink from another's cup
And share
Feet first
Teeth first
Subtle unwinding, prickle-knotting,
Drawing out in loops that kept inside,
I am running
solace to solace
breathless resting, resting...

Time is like a guillotine, not careful
Not careful

Imbibe and frighten
Paper tangled around
Always marking, always making
Is it enough to say 'we'? Not 'you and I'?
So I remember maybe
In a field with the dragonflies playing
Connected, now drifting
Faint and guileless cares, gauzy
Resting, I was thinking
Dreaming of patterns of greens and golds

Time, they told me,
With time, with time...

My skin disconnected, rebelling
My hair that shies from the wind
Promises, I kept them like roses
Until they shrivelled with the taste of rot
Flower, that's what they call it
Why fade in the ground, let's die in a book,
and dry, so perfectly.
In a frenetic outspilling I sold myself, sold in coins
numberless and nameless
the patterns on the back of my eyes
the rhythm of my fingertips
Delicate crackling sound of a morning-voice
Give me eyes to see; not mine, yours.
Eyes to see - mine, and yours.

Time that's like a guillotine, be careful
No space to be careful any more.

    report violation
2


Did You Like This Poem?

Latest Comments

  • 10 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Judging comment:

    Quite an intriguing piece! I like how adventurous the first stanza is, as if your soul cannot be content with living one life or looking simply through your eyes. You need to experience what others are. The repetition of the metaphor of time is done well and creates an ominous atmosphere, showing how powerless we are to stop death or even control any aspect of time. There is a bit of mystery in your words, but the second stanza reminds me of innocence, creating as a child, among nature and never thinking beyond the present. Now, as you are older, it is like you can do nothing to please reality. You try to keep promises yet they seem to break and it makes one wonder if there's a certain beauty in fading, a vulnerability we cannot change. My only suggestion: there were a few places I felt punctuation could make the meaning more clear, or when you change thought. Clever poem though. I also like how you shift the focus from saying "give me eyes to see" to seeing with your eyes and another's, to gain two perspectives. Then the end reminds me we need to stop contemplating and live our actions because there is no time for regret. (4)

    • 10 years ago

      by Armada the Gestalt

      Thank you again! It's very kind of you, and I'm glad you were intrigued! I agree that sometimes I could use punctuation better than I do, so that's a thought for the future. I tend to write poems in the space of about ten minutes to twenty minutes before I can't touch them any more and the inspiration is gone, so I work with what I get!

  • 10 years ago

    by Darren

    Congrats on the HM glad I nominated.

    • 10 years ago

      by Armada the Gestalt

      Oh, didn't even see I got one until you said. Thanks very much!

  • 10 years ago

    by Darren

    This poem is very deep and extremely well crafted. What works for me is the detail throughout this piece with a scattering of repetition that works really well. I am not a great commentator at the moment....however I have nominated this and hopefully you get a great comment from the judges.

    good luck

    this poem deserves much more recognition.

    • 10 years ago

      by Armada the Gestalt

      Thank you for taking the time! It's nice to see that someone likes one of my happier poems instead of one of the broody ones for once.

Read All Comments (6)

More Poems By Armada the Gestalt