This poem is very deep and extremely well crafted. What works for me is the detail throughout this piece with a scattering of repetition that works really well. I am not a great commentator at the moment....however I have nominated this and hopefully you get a great comment from the judges.

good luck

this poem deserves much more recognition.

Congrats on the HM glad I nominated.

Judging comment:

Quite an intriguing piece! I like how adventurous the first stanza is, as if your soul cannot be content with living one life or looking simply through your eyes. You need to experience what others are. The repetition of the metaphor of time is done well and creates an ominous atmosphere, showing how powerless we are to stop death or even control any aspect of time. There is a bit of mystery in your words, but the second stanza reminds me of innocence, creating as a child, among nature and never thinking beyond the present. Now, as you are older, it is like you can do nothing to please reality. You try to keep promises yet they seem to break and it makes one wonder if there's a certain beauty in fading, a vulnerability we cannot change. My only suggestion: there were a few places I felt punctuation could make the meaning more clear, or when you change thought. Clever poem though. I also like how you shift the focus from saying "give me eyes to see" to seeing with your eyes and another's, to gain two perspectives. Then the end reminds me we need to stop contemplating and live our actions because there is no time for regret. (4)