Comments : If love was bottled

  • 10 years ago

    by Beautiful Soul

    WOW!

    Title: Interpreted in so many ways again. With love sometimes you do bottle up feelings and such, to not have to go through hurt again.

    First- The first stanza is lovely. It really does create an image of loneliness. And it really sets up what I said before. If love is truly bottled up, then what emotions are left? Sadness or negative, so the whole stanza works very well for me. Because of your wordplay.

    Second- Love the wording here too and it does go very well with the first stanza, almost enhances it. Demons take over your mind and your thoughts seems to race in circles, never stopping. It's a terrible feeling that only gets worse in time. Love the first sentence as well. Most people do not do well with conflict, so they in turn stuff their feelings to make them not feel worse.

    Third- the feelings are paranoia, where it feels like everyone is watching and judging you, but there is nothing you can do about it. Love the forehead line, it really does feel that way a lot of times. Where you just want to sink in a hole to get away from the world and people in it.

    Fourth- The imagery here is well. The reflection, another enemy of depression (or friend) depends on how you look at it. Of lten we feel faded or invisible to the world. That's what I see here. You feel trapped or lost not noticed by the ones you love. This works well because of the connection it holds.

    Fifth-Ending- Life really is about the journey and climbing up to the top. It may take awhile but it's worth it. I loved what you did here though, you took the pessimist point of view. How will you get down? Who knows. Haha. But overall this is a great write!

  • 10 years ago

    by gumshuda

    Wow a beautiful poem
    The ending especially is amazing....

    When I am at the top, looking down on the world
    I just think to myself,
    'How the hell am I going to get down?'