I remember that person you wish I was.

by Darren   Aug 20, 2014


We often talk about those walls
I have built up around my love and affection,
we reminisce about those times I used to say
that I love you.

Now I wear pain like scruffy overalls,
my face exploding with lines of sorrow,
I love the irony of laughter lines.
having not laughed in such a long time.

Underneath this skin there is that person
He who truly loves you, but also loves himself,
that person has wasted his best years
chasing circles that were twisted by Mobius
so that they had no end in sight.

Do you know how it feels to be disappointed?
That suicide was too shy again.

That young hopeful person now lives deep within,
a husk that carries my thoughts,
those that are so heavy that my mind rebounds energy
until it gurgles down my throat, like a dirty bathtub.

Maybe he will come back one day,
the walking juxtaposition that is my life may yin and yang,
I may switch around the other way,
the depressive beast may return to the base of my heart
feeding on negative energy.

Waiting for the slip once more.

(re-written)

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  • 10 years ago

    by Beautiful Soul

    Title: What a great one! Breaking it down, I believe it could represent a lot of things. But you are trying to remember the person you were before. The happy times.

    First stanza- Using and knowing the difference between "talk" and "reminisce" is great and you used them well to express your feelings. Talking to me is present tense so that's how you are feeling now, you have built up those walls. You have had memories of love and you were full if joy and bliss, that was in the past. So using reminisce is past.

    Second- love this stanza a lot, it goes into such detail overall. The pain you feel is real and you describe it as "showing" all over. Your face shows sorrow. But the use of irony I love. Laughter here would be ironic because people could see that it is real but in reality you know the pain you are going through.

    Third/fourth- Deep inside yourself there is another person "hiding" from life. Who truly wants to love again but they cannot. I love the word morbus. It fits so well here and you are saying you are trapped inside yourself and pain. Suicide is a difficult thing to talk about. I think you are saying that you wanted to but you are too shy, something is making you stay on this earth.

    Fifth- That person who is deep inside you is trying to escape here but you swallow him. That makes me believe they will be lost for a long time.

    Ending- omg this is a great ending, you are saying that he is still apart of you but right now you are in a depressive state. But someday you will be happy again and it switches back and forth. I live the hope at the end. Excellent write!

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