You Left Me (Kyrielle)

Hello Meena

A deeply moving write here.
My only quibble is the "whose words made you rain" - that comes over a little forced.
What about "Whose words left you drained"
it carries on the rhyme scheme and even offers subtle alliteration with "drowned" on the next line down.
Entirely up to you. Either way, this is wonderful and a form I had never heard of.

"My heart walks on life's lonely aisle"

^^^^

Heart breaking. The repetition of "you left me with the deepest pain" also works a treat.

All the best and stay well,
Ben

Meena knows how to design a Kyrielle and this piece is lovely.. The elegance and simplicity is one of the many reasons I adore this poem... Very pretty piece! Her heart oozes in and between the lines which can be felt while reading. Nothing seemed forced and the rhyming pattern choice of wording was just very nice! Well done!

And again ... Even through the restrictions of formed poetry, you manage to really hit me deep with that grief! I cannot tell you how much I can relate your poems of loss, you word them so creatively yet so powerful that they jump out!

This poem is so moving because the abandonment is clear, it shows you really needed this person whom you have given us a little information about that they were caring and always there for others, but then they left you. I know we are never truly ready to grieve or say goodbye, I don't believe there is ever a right time, but I do feel that sometimes grief can be harder to process when we have been in a really dark place that someone has helped us through every time, and then we lose that person. That is what I get from this poem and how I connect to it.

Very sad write!
Hugs

Beautiful write Meena, it had impact the way you brought the reader back to the pain,

Deeply pain,

nice