The Last Fairytale

Wow wow wow. I loved this, it's beautiful and really worked well together, just everything fitted nicely like an amazing book you can't put down it gripped me from start to finish because of your words and structure.

Once upon a time
our thrones sat side by side
as equals, as lovers
but lately there has been
trouble in the kingdom.
^^
I love how you open it up like a fairytale because it makes e wonder if it truly is going to be an 'Happy ending' as you state there's recently been 'trouble in the kingdom.'

---

Perhaps fairytales were alternate endings
written for every failed relationship by
a poet who was unable to move on.
^^
Love the prospect of poets writing alternate endings to fairy tales, unique.

What they never tell you is that
there is no known treatment to remedy
a bite from a poisoned apple, a slipper lost
in the heat of a frantic dash is lost forever,
and the "happily ever after" almost never comes;
instead, we all stood there awaiting rescue
as frightened little girls staring helplessly
into the faces of our big bad wolves,
their hungry teeth ready to snap..
and rescue, well it never came.
^^
No they never tell us that love hurts like, that here are not many 'prince charming's' because we have to kiss many frogs along the way, lose many slippers and pick ourselves up a lot along the way. I love how you take the fairy tales and make them your own here.

Inside we are still the ugly ducklings
out here in search of our "just right",
our hair that once cascaded from tower sides
is now brittle with split ends- our best friends
are most assuredly fewer than seven
and each time we try to start fresh
someone comes to huff and puff
and blow our dreams away.
^^
Again use of fairy tales that always allude us to happy endings as young girls but it's not all plain sailing as you so rightly state.

They never tell you that, yes,
your beast or frog may turn into
the prince you had long dreamed for
but people never truly change-
for good.
^^
I love this part because although we can love a person they don't truly change. They will still be that crazy person we fell in love with.

We plead for sleeping spells
because insomnia keeps us with
our thoughts for too long and
we have grown tired of waiting
for a true love's kiss-
"The End" isn't written in a
fancy cursive, hell, we're lucky
if we even get closure.
^^
Wow this is my fave stanza because right now I am at this point in life. I am sick of waiting for love and fairy tales always end in a loves true kiss why lol haha love the end of this part too.. We're lucky if we even get closure because we are if a relationship ends people just move on no explanation, usually.

Once upon a time
I believed in love,

but then my ink ran dry
^^
Fab ending to a truly magical piece, Em

Again, so much has already been said, but I feel the need to dissect this anyway - I hope that is alright with you.

Once upon a time
our thrones sat side by side
as equals, as lovers
but lately there has been
trouble in the kingdom.

---

^Amazing introduction, a lot like a storybook would have (quite fitting). I like how this gives a hint at why you chose to compare this relationship to a fairytale as well as a tiny glimpse of why you no longer think so.

Perhaps fairytales were alternate endings
written for every failed relationship by
a poet who was unable to move on.

^ I love the perspective this stanza gives. I've never thought of it that way, but now I can totally see it. I can also say that the way you penned this stanza was not only unique, but brilliantly potent.

What they never tell you is that
there is no known treatment to remedy
a bite from a poisoned apple, a slipper lost
in the heat of a frantic dash is lost forever,
and the "happily ever after" almost never comes;
instead, we all stood there awaiting rescue
as frightened little girls staring helplessly
into the faces of our big bad wolves,
their hungry teeth ready to snap..
and rescue, well it never came.

^Another great use of perspective. I really like how you took the stereotypical little girl and put her in a story like she's always wanted and then spun it from there. The full force of the reality that a kiss from your true love, and princes aren't always who we think they are, is not only shocking but perfectly explained. It makes your piece along while also giving a bit of insight as to how your "fairy tale" felt. I think this stanza also alludes to the fact all of those little girls in their fluffy dress up gowns have to be their own savior someday and I like the way you did that (even if unintentionally) because it makes this stanza seem a little more "real" to counteract the fairytaleness.

Inside we are still the ugly ducklings
out here in search of our "just right",
our hair that once cascaded from tower sides
is now brittle with split ends- our best friends
are most assuredly fewer than seven
and each time we try to start fresh
someone comes to huff and puff
and blow our dreams away.

^ Again with the reality to the stories. I like it, even how you used the ugly duckling - because I had forgotten that one and it really works here! I love how all of the references in this stanza go so well hand in hand here, and unless you read closely enough you're really not likely to notice all of them or how well they support each other.

They never tell you that, yes,
your beast or frog may turn into
the prince you had long dreamed for
but people never truly change-
for good.

^ This one hits the audience hard. I want to say more about it, but I just can't get the words to come out the way I want them to.

We plead for sleeping spells
because insomnia keeps us with
our thoughts for too long and
we have grown tired of waiting
for a true love's kiss-
"The End" isn't written in a
fancy cursive, hell, we're lucky
if we even get closure.

^ Eloquently put despite the heartbroken nature. I hate how true this one is.

Once upon a time
I believed in love,

but then my ink ran dry.

^ Phenomenally concluded, well worth the length. Extraordinarily penned.

Wonderful imagery throughout. Thoroughly good.

This is awesome.

I'm so guilty of laughing right now, I'm so sorry! I love what you did to the poem it's nothing bad trust me it's a truly wonderful idea that you could manage to change the poem into what you wanted. I have to say the poem is so true, God I'm laughing so badly as I type this. Prince Charming is never coming to any girl unless she finds him by accident nobody is going to wake us up from a comatose state just because they find us that is the reality. The poem itself flowed flawlessly, the imagery (I'm guilty of laughing really badly) is hilarious but in a spectacular way! The emotions are so good! It's like a teacher telling you the truth and not sugarcoating ANYTHING this is what I would tell my daughter I think I need your permission to have this poem on my wall because it's so going to go on my daughter's wall one day. That's gonna be my lesson to her and I'll say "mommy got this poem years ago with the permission of her friend" and just teach her not to trust love. What I love and love and love is the fact you started with "Once upon a time" and used it so beautifully that I'm so happy this is one of the last poems I'll read Crystal 5/5

-Mori