Okay let me start this comment and don't get mad please: This poem is so forced it actually makes me want to scream, you didn't have to force it to make it beautiful trust me I don't make poems in rhyming scheme often and when I do it's a major pain. I love the emotions in this poem and I think that's the only that saved it from being a 3/5 because the emotions are so sad you need to balance emotions and the true meaning of poetry and making this poem into a rhyming poem didn't help. I like the idea that you tried to do a rhyming poem but until you're better stick with poetry that doesn't rhyme or doesn't appear to be that forced. The message was quite sad because loosing someone is very hard no matter what age you are, how mature you are (or lack of), or how strong you are (physical or emotional). Either way work on your poetry you can reach great heights! 4/5

-Mori