Dust to dust

This piece is absolutely BEAUTIFUL!

The 4 senses, mixed with a powerful message of life.. I'm speechless.

I love the formatting of this poem, breaking it down, sense by sense. The breathtaking details of nature and beauty of life is brilliant, and the touching elegance of life.. well written piece by Masked metaphor ~

Andrew...Wowwowow! I'm so in love with this piece. You took the nature prompt and totally flipped it into something unbelievably unique! I'm sorry for the delay in the comment but I just couldn't gather my thoughts together after reading this. After I don't know how many read through, I think my mind is ready to give you a good comment that you deserve (hopefully). :)

The title reminds me of the phrase from the English burial service - "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust" ... from the content of your poem, I assume that is what you mean here.

The intro is very intriguing and inspiring. It speaks of how we created (born) with the dust of the Earth and when the times comes to die, we will also return. An endless cycle of dust being recycled to give life as well as take it back. You have incorporated nature throughout the entire piece, personifying elements here and there, which gives the reader the impression that this piece is not about nature at all, but about humanity. It speaks about death, losing a loved one... how we form from one dust (human) only to go back into another form of dust (nature). Human nature has a whole new meaning.

I love how the whole poem is mostly questions throughout the entire piece. It works so well, asking the reader if they can use all of their senses except sight to really "see" the world before them, to hear, smell, taste and feel every single detail of life before them.

As I read this over and over again, I kept trying to understand the personification of nature and how it fit into the deep meaning behind your words. At first, I thought I was completely decoding it wrong. I thought maybe it was about the decaying life of nature itself... but as I continued to ponder, I wondered if maybe most of your poem was just a metaphor for life... and that the scene takes place at a funeral, the burial site...and the main character is observing all of the senses around them while they bury a loved one. It was what fit the most in my mind, am I correct?

I'm not going to highlight every sense because I don't have the time to sit and analyze every single detail as I normally like to do. (Sorry) I will just highlight my favorite parts and give you my thoughts and such.

The smell portion is one of my favorite parts. You captured both the pleasant and unpleasant smells at a funeral. You captured the scent of lit lantern, which may have scented candles in it or it could just be the scent of the flame itself as it has a scent of it's own. Of course, the scent of flowers is present as they are always sent. The usage of the birds feathers was a nice serene touch to such a sad moment. The scent of morning dew is in the air and the nectarine incense is used in the ceremony of the burial. Now it's on to the non-pleasant smell of decay, how it will always be a smell that you remember... the scent of death. It has now become a fear, afraid of the moment when your time will come or when another loved one will pass. It is true that death is a part of life but that doesn't stop people from grieving and from gaining anxiety in the process.

The taste is well played. I knew this would be the hardest part but you done it flawlessly... using the taste of denial that they are gone. I love the usage of "Swallowing chilies of despair and bitter salts of depression" so unique!

One thing that death teaches people is to live their life to the fullest. Cherish each single moment of life because they are numbered. One day it will be your turn to return to the dusty earth.

The feeling section is another favorite part. The question of feeling life and death caressing your fingertips is beautiful! It speaks of the moment when a loved one finally acknowledges the fact that their loved one is gone and is at peace, in a better place. The weight has been lifted off their shoulders, however a feeling of emptiness still resides. The metaphor of nature always regenerating after a storm is a stunning image! That person may feel damaged but not forever, they will still grieve, still miss them... but they will regenerate.

We are all connected, the cycle of life and death will always remain. We must make our mark in this world and live life like it's your last, truly cherish it.

I like the repetition of the introduction at the end, very nice!

I've added this poem to my favorites as well as nominated it for the weekly contest. I hope it wins, it truly deserves recognition! Thank you, again, for participating each week and creating these beautiful pieces of poetry! You truly have a gift. :)

This is so amazing, and full of emotion.
I couldn't stop reading and then I realized it ended too soon.
The beginning was very powerful as you began with such a true statement which resonates with each and every living thing on this planet.
The way you pieced together the senses were very artistic and well written..
I loved the rhyming throughout it and the strong vividness of metaphors describing natures beauty.
Even without the sense of sight you describe such a deep seeded love of this world and the beauty that surrounds this planet.
I don't think I could have put together a better poem if I tried.
You always blow me away with your poetry.

This is such a beautiful piece and embodies the challenge so well. Sad yet also uplifting at the same time it encourages us to think about our lives and the effects we are having on the world around us so well.

I love the way you use questions to draw the reader into the poem. The use of separate stanzas for the different senses works well yet the poem still reads perfectly as a whole. The repetition of the first line at the end is inspired!

This is definitely going into my favourites. :)

I really liked the introduction lines here. They add to the poem and make the title work.

Listen- I like how you started this out with a question, that points towards the reader here. You are asking us if they can hear what you do and feel what you do. This part is very powerful indeed and you took a unique spin to this. Instead of the usual "happy" tone, you took it and made it like doom. I like that a lot. The imagery is stunning. You are saying you want us to hear nature's cries and fear, because this world is falling apart. The use of your vocabulary works well to enhance the tone of this stanza. Each line to me could hold its own story or poem. Great job with this.

Smell- Wow! This stanza is very emotional. At first you are thinking that it will have a happier tone, and it does but the ending is very true. Death is apart of life and eventually everything dies. I have never really thought about death as a smell but it works well. Using the sadness you feel inside and comes are it with death is amazing, because they both go hand in hand. This stanza seems to be about the decay of the world now, and how nature is being destroyed. It's not really natural but it's happening again and again.

Taste- Taste can go along with many things in life. Do we live life to the fullest? I would say no, we drag through each day over and over again. Using desolation in a poem wins my heart. In this stanza I believe you are saying or asking, can you feel the guilt that is coming from death in nature? For some people they can yes, but most others no. And that's the world we live in.

Feeling- This is probably my favorite stanza. Emotions are very difficult to feel overall and nature does regenerate but people don't. Yes we are connected to nature in someway and we destroy ourselves. That's why we destroy nature, we don't feel what they feel. Love how you went back to the starting stanza here as well. Excellent write.I'm very impressed. I can't wait to nominate this! 5/5.