A smokers passage [Triple Tetractys]

Love this poem Andrew! The title speaks of a simple but strong meaning. Smoking is not a great thing at all and the poem to me really fits the title well. It cannot really be interpreted any other way besides smoking. That's all.

First: Making this a tetractys takes skill and you did an excellent job with the restriction. Tattered soul speaks to me most. A soul can be tattered from the loneliness one feels. So being at night plays well. Plus since this is about smoking it can tear a soul apart. Addiction can lead to loneliness so it plays into the story. This whole stanza is an excellent start because it sets up the emotions you were trying to portray.

Second: The depression is definitely swallowing you whole here. And it dissects your whole body. You are lost in the addiction you feel and nothing else matters. Your wordplay is again excellent here. It again plays well into the emotion of your poem. Melancholic talks about depression and depression makes you feel addicted and needing to cope is the cigarettes.

Ending- This is my favorite stanza because you wrapped up the poem well. This smoking is killing your lungs and they are holding your health captive. You did an excellent job with the syllables and restrictions here. 5/5

Love the challenge. Remember doing something of this sort before. Wanted to stop by and say yours came out beautifully.

Nights voices i feel within my dark side of melancholic secretion :D
love your poem :)

What a vividly amazing poem that has so much artistic truth behind the words you have used to construct this piece.
I love the flow and the rhyming which exudes throughout this poem.
Always an amazing read when you post a new poem.
Keep it up.

I did wonder if this was yours.:)

I loved the creativity and style you used. Even the poems shape seems to drip and pool the tar into waiting lungs.
You always amaze me with the imagery and power you put into your poems.