Cluttered Coma

O my! it's so sad to read yet so good to read this poem as well it gives me insight into the minds of people who have been brutalized I for one personally have never been abused at home nor in a relationship but great into seeing into another person's life! Now lets get to the good stuff and I'll comment Hannah

As she wedged herself in an oblong position,
barely able to squeeze into the crack of a
strategically cluttered closet, he raked
his belt across the wall as he stormed
down the hallway.
^
This opening stanza gives you: The place and the emotions that the poor woman is going through. The poor woman is so terrified of the man that she would hide in a closet that didn't have enough room for her just to protect herself, very intriguing first half. Now the second part of this stanza is his part. He loves tormenting the poor woman it is shown since he "storms down the hallway.". He probably wants to make her cower in fear which she obviously is already doing but to make her fear to even breath is probably his intent which is horrible.

She quaked at the vibration
growing louder with each step.
^
This literally tells you how terrified she of the person that is stalking her and almost about to find her. She can't seem to get up and run since she knows in this couplet that she can never get away from him since he'll follow her anywhere so she is so terrified she can't move except to quiver in fear.

Light beamed through the cracks as
he slowly opened her closet door,
chuckling at the sight before him
and snapping the belt between
his calloused hands.
^
O how you can start to hate the "bad guy" even if he's a figment of someone's imagination! This stanza is wow Hannah! My God I feel so sorry for the poor woman he's taking his sadistic joy out of this part since he's "slowly opening" the dang door! You can't help but gasp at how hypnotic the poem is! I mean I would be scared right about now and just moaning because if I was her I would've ran the first second out of the door if there was a door!

He knelt down on one knee and
peered into the rummage,
meeting her frightened eyes.
^
Sympatric feelings are from me to her. He really did enjoy the emotions he fed from her, not only that he seems to grow on her state of frightfulness. I hope I never encounter a person like this!!

"You're not getting away tonight,
little girl."
^
God what shivers ran down my spine as I realized that this poor woman is actually child! It's just wrong that your own father or brother would go to such lengths to scare you to dominate you and in this it doesn't seem like the "man" I'm barely calling him that since when I think of how many people have gone through this scenario it makes me sick. This only says what type of person this "man" truly is!

He was a man on a mission
and nothing would stand
in his way.
^
This is terrifying since you can tell when you meet your doom when someone is like this and it's so scary how you feel when nothing can stop him from scaring up your life. Really sad.

A blood-curdling scream pierced
through his ears, jolting him awake.
Within a flash, he gathered his wife
in his arms for the third time tonight.
Sobs of apologies sputtered from her lips
as he quietly shushed them with pecks of
reassurance.
^
This shows that she grew up and that the scars of her past never went away. She grew into a woman and found her love but the scars that were left behind a so called father will never go away maybe the man in the past was a step-father? This man loves his wife since he holds his love in his arms but the past still grabs her when her subconscious is down, and she loves him for sure since she apologizes to him even though he loves her very much.

She curled to his side and glanced into
eyes that were as calming as the color
stained on the walls, praying for the moment
that those eyes would replace the ones
that haunt her night after night.
^
A very strong last stanza and this whole poem was so sad and I know people who have been brutalized and they have flashbacks so often it's horrible I have been lucky and blessed to not have been one of the many victims in the world who have gotten scared for life that even though you can get someone to love you there is always that tormentor in the back of your mind it's truly sad! Now the last three lines are very touching because it's her desire, and her hope to one day not be scared anymore and just dream of her husband and let the past go but scars don't ever go away they just lay dormant
5/5

-Mori

This got my vote. The intensity of emotion it contains is breathtaking. I love it. :)