Oak love (Quintuplet Tanka)

by Masked metaphor   Sep 20, 2014


Blossoming petals,
glistening in the spring rain.
Love pours down on me,
through rain droplets of kisses.
...You are the smell before rain.

Your nurturing care,
is my refuge and my strength.
Harsh seasons rage war,
yet your love for me brings peace.
...You are the blood in my veins.

You reveal to me,
the many secrets of life.
I await for you.
You are the smell before rain,
a light to my bitter fray.

My stems reach for you,
you are the blood in my veins.
You fill me with life,
hydrating a deep darkness,
in the buried ancient roots.

Photosynthesis,
you are the blood in my veins,
breathing life inside.
You are the smell before rain,
a scent of hope for an oak.

2


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Latest Comments

  • 10 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    Judging Comment:

    A beautifully written Tanaka about nature. All
    senses has been included in this poem. The writer
    takes the reader through each sensation one by one.
    It starts with the sight of blossoming petals which
    stands out, followed by the scent of rain. As the
    poem slowly unfolds the writer describes the touch
    of purity and how it cleanses the soul; rejuvenating
    it. The very sound of its soothing patters creates a
    whole new view on life. I also like how certain lines
    have been repeated in each stanza making the
    flow of the read very pleasurable. Finally, using
    those four lines to end the poem. All in all a
    soothing read coupled with memorable imagery.
    Very nice!

  • 10 years ago

    by uttAm

    After long time i came across such a lovely poem based on nature......well penned and nice layout!!

  • 10 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    What a beautiful nature poem... so highlight the front page... Congratulations!!

  • 10 years ago

    by Lune de ma vie

    Blossoming petals,
    glistening in the spring rain.
    Love pours down on me,
    through rain droplets of kisses.
    ...You are the smell before rain.

    The description of the rain is very beautiful here. The way you explain how it is love, I like that metaphor, it really is easy to imagine this within my mind.

    Your nurturing care,
    is my refuge and my strength.
    Harsh seasons rage war,
    yet your love for me brings peace.
    ...You are the blood in my veins.

    The stanza is really deep and has a lot of force behind it. I imagine the roots of a tree grasping down into the ground during harsh seasons rage war, the roots hold strong into the ground with the soil keeping this tree flourishing, a team together.. In love with each other because without one neither can truly work.

    You reveal to me,
    the many secrets of life.
    I await for you.
    You are the smell before rain,
    a light to my bitter fray.

    I imagine this stanza explaining the calm before the storm, that smell before the rain begins to fall. The clouds sweeping in singing to this tree and song of happiness as the rain begins. Giving this tree a breath of fresh air with the rain falling, as the seasons and the heat are troubling the way the world is going.

    My stems reach for you,
    you are the blood in my veins.
    You fill me with life,
    hydrating a deep darkness,
    in the buried ancient roots.

    Beautiful imagery again! Loved this stanza, so vivid and truly knowledgeable. To show the reader perhaps how a tree sees the rain and what it means to them. It's as if the tree is speaking to us telling us what it feels and sees. Love it.

    Photosynthesis,
    you are the blood in my veins,
    breathing life inside.
    You are the smell before rain,
    a scent of hope for an oak.

    Another amazing poem. you put together a poem here that is about what a tree needs in such a artistic format. You always amaze me, you are able to write about anything you put your mind to and allow it to make it have meaning.
    5/5

  • 10 years ago

    by earlgreytea

    So freaking beautiful. 5/5 bro.