The deception in death

by Dancing Rivers   Sep 22, 2014


Once,I stood upon a mountain.
Declaring, that I had defeated death....
For I was breathing, the sun of life.

Alas,I was as wrong as the immortal beings-
that feed upon the fresh blooded living.
For death, ay, death, he wears many robes-

And on this morn I stand in the valley of the wind,
, nearing the shadow of death.
For in the night my eyes were unshut by deaths cold kisses,

, and my mind did conceive,
That though my heart,
It beats like the flag of freedom against the wind

, though my soul dances a sad waltz,
Within the chambers of my being,
Though the breath of Jehovah"s clay image stirs within,

I am bound by the shackles of an unbearable realisation, that
I, yes I, have been one, acquainted with death..
My spirit has left my conscious realm,

and dances in the fields of long forgotten souls.
My soul has been shattered.my heart beats
, undead blood runs through my veins.

This, ay this, is perhaps the worst of deaths enchanting robes...the robe of deception, that he who lives beneath the sun
he who breaths God given life

, is entirely living...yet I am not.
...I am dead.

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Latest Comments

  • 10 years ago

    by Postguied Parnell

    I feel the same.

    • 10 years ago

      by Dancing Rivers

      Thank you Jacob :-) I finally listened to you guys and fixed the poem,I decided on three line stanzas, because there's an old-wife's tale that states that death comes in threes, and to this day I believe it 100%

  • 10 years ago

    by Kakera

    Andrea (Maple Tree) phrased it perfectly. This poem is breathtaking and amazing, and if you only break it down into stanzas to help the layout, it will become so much more.

    And this poem deserves that so much more. The contents are again, deep and elegant, and your words dance in my mind. But the layout of the poem creates stumbles and breaks in the pace, which detracts from it a lot.

    And if you just fix that, it's... Nigh on impossible to properly describe!

  • 10 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Hazel, this piece is very deep and truly a wonderful poem! I would like to encourage you to change your format a bit.. all the sentences tend to run together.. might make it a bit easier to read.. The beauty of this poem truly needs to be highlighted.. Please let me show you and example of what I mean.

    Once,I stood upon a mountain declaring,
    that I had defeated death, for I was breathing, the sun of life.

    Alas,I was as wrong as the immortal beings that feed upon the fresh blooded living.

    For death, ay, death, he wears many robes and on this morn I stand in the valley of the wind, nearing the shadow of death.

    ^^^^^^^^^^^^ by breaking it into stanzas it reads much better...

    just an idea :-) The emotion entangled with the message is breathtaking... elegant, but sad poem indeed!

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