Hazel, this piece is very deep and truly a wonderful poem! I would like to encourage you to change your format a bit.. all the sentences tend to run together.. might make it a bit easier to read.. The beauty of this poem truly needs to be highlighted.. Please let me show you and example of what I mean.

Once,I stood upon a mountain declaring,
that I had defeated death, for I was breathing, the sun of life.

Alas,I was as wrong as the immortal beings that feed upon the fresh blooded living.

For death, ay, death, he wears many robes and on this morn I stand in the valley of the wind, nearing the shadow of death.

^^^^^^^^^^^^ by breaking it into stanzas it reads much better...

just an idea :-) The emotion entangled with the message is breathtaking... elegant, but sad poem indeed!

Andrea (Maple Tree) phrased it perfectly. This poem is breathtaking and amazing, and if you only break it down into stanzas to help the layout, it will become so much more.

And this poem deserves that so much more. The contents are again, deep and elegant, and your words dance in my mind. But the layout of the poem creates stumbles and breaks in the pace, which detracts from it a lot.

And if you just fix that, it's... Nigh on impossible to properly describe!

I feel the same.