Comments : THERE WAS THIS GIRL

  • 10 years ago

    by dindee

    Hi there... =)

    *sandess*
    --might be sadness....

    *a smile that is as big as mars*
    ---i smiled when i read that line....coz its a really really big smile then...its a planet..lol..its awesome..

    *Her freckled look like teenssy chocolate chips on her white chocolate skin*
    --but love this line..like some chocolate chips...

    nice metaphor.... =)

  • 10 years ago

    by Dancing Rivers

    Hey charli, pretty good but sad poem.very good though how you used two contrasting emotions (calm Serenity and depression and suicide), ok that's more than two, but anyway, these contrasting emotions, the way your words flowed from one mood to the next was flawless and seemless,I congratulate you on that :-)