Comments : Futile Happiness

  • 10 years ago

    by Dancing Rivers

    Lovely poem.the title immediately stole my attention and the poem itself lived up to the expectation of it's title.just a friendly query, the first line is, for want of a better word, sightly ambiguous, in that you state that your happiness is futile (pointless), then you follow that statement with the words"WHICH appears..."you see the situation here? The word which, throws the reader off because it does not connect with either the former, or the latter statements.perhaps it's a typo and it's meant to read "my happiness is FUTILITY,
    ..which..."you see how that would bring the two statements together, creates a lovely metaphor, and makes the poem flow more elegantly rather than
    creating a stumbling block.but otherwise the poem is lovely, a beautiful composition

  • 10 years ago

    by Everlasting

    Well done, you described how your happiness is to you. In your poem, you said a lot more but Forgive me, right now, I feel like reading and not much into the commenting.P.s. I believe that with "which" you are referring to your "happiness." Hence, describing it. The poem actually comes off as optimistic.

  • 10 years ago

    by redxiii

    Excellent poem I really like the word usage. Great job.