Outpatient

Mori said it all. Wow

First off before I start commenting on this poem I am glad I choose to read this piece since it had no comments and this poem really does deserve to be read and heard by voices that have yet to listen to the melody that is poetry! From the first line that I read I knew I had choosen the right on so thank you!

Remove these needles from my arms
Pull back the mask that hides my face
Listening to the machines fall silent
Please take me away from this place
^
In this stanza you're pleading for your "escape" to the other world. To die and not have more pain and to end the suffering of living anymore. This stanza shows so much pain and yet there is realization that I hadn't noticed and now I'll say it: you embrace Death but it's the prolonging of being alive that you hate (in this stanza) it's intresting to me.

I don't want to smell the scent of bleach
This gown doesn't fit me like it should
Medication cant heal this ruptured skin
No more whitecoats, no more blood
^
Hehe I was right in the first stanza. This really shows your fustration and it's a nice to feel and see your anger in a written form.
I can't stand the stench of bleach" or something like that would've made it even better in my mind.
Like something you really hated and I love this stanza too but I like the last stanza better and I haven't even read it I'm so excited to read it!

Can't hear them crying in the night
I won't here them scream out anymore
Unpeel the white tape from my wrists
Everything's painless to a W hore
^
I love everything...except the last word hun. I will be the one to tell you that no bad words are allowed on a poem(except explicit) but you can always change it to "scarlet" or "harlet" since they are the same thing and is within the rules. With that being said I love the darkness just pouring out of this poem! very nice and just emotional

I'll be yours
Remove these needles from my arms
I'll be the stain you wash away
Pull back the mask that hides my face
Don't want to be a shell another day
Listening to the machines falling silent
Will you do me the kindness, end the noise
Please take me away from this place
I'm just one of your life's decoys
I left my mind within your bedroom
And my soul upon the pavement
Take me as you always have
Let me be your outpatient
^
I will say this...I can't describe the last stanza. It's dark, it's sad, and I am thinking this is one last plea for the nurses (or doctor with the consent of the guardian). Beautiful tragic piece hun 5/5

-Mori